Community?

Ok, I know the YMCA needs money too. And the points they bring up in this video are excellent. But since when does it cost money for people to spend time together? Joining the YMCA is not free.

I completely agree that people should try to spend more time together. Eating dinner together is a biggie. And by that I mean no cell phones, no tv, no computer, sit down at the table, face each other and eat (and hopefully talk). This is a scarcity in my own home. Our normal procedure is for me to fix dinner. Bill may, or may not be home at this point. When dinner is ready, I holler out “DINNER” and whoever comes, comes. I fix my plate and return to my computer. Usually Chelsea does the same. Now technically, we are eating dinner ‘together’. We are in the same room. Problem is, we are worlds away from each other in our computers. She’s over there reading up on the latest digital art technique, and I’m over here farming, or fishing, or some other inane thing. The TV might be on at this point too, adding noise to the room, but no one is really watching it. I am thinking now, when did this happen? I guess I gave up some time ago when I realized my ability is really limited when it comes to changing this. The last hope I have is that I still don’t allow Chelsea to use the computer in her room, so she has to come out here to use it. I’ve tried talking to Bill about changing this in the past. He says he wants to, and makes an effort to come home for dinner for a few weeks, but then that falls by the wayside and we are soon right back here with it. To make matters worse, Bill enjoys TV movies, where I prefer, frankly, my computer. I can get so lost playing with stumbleupon, learning so many cool things, or messing around on Facebook, or some other gaming site. TV has actually become boring compared to this (except for a few shows )
So where does that leave my family? In their own worlds. And our worlds seldom collide, except for the occasional school production or church outing, we are “lost in space”, literally.
So how do I stop this roller coaster? I really don’t know. If I try to change myself by not using the computer or watching tv, then I just get ignored. Everyone just goes on as they were, and if I try to talk to them, I get mumbled answers and no ones full attention. So I soon give up and go back to my own rut.

The summers are a little better. Chelsea and I go to the beach fairly often and spend much needed time chatting with each other. This rarely includes Bill though, as he dislikes the beach and is usually working. We used to spend more time trying to do things as a family, but with the current economy we can’t afford to do the kinds of things we enjoy, like traveling, going to amusement parks or even out to a movie.

So I don’t know. Are we so different? Looking back on my own childhood, I do remember the sit down dinners. And I don’t remember them always being pleasant. I also remember spending my fair share of time in front of the TV (no computers yet, way back then). My parents and I rarely did things together, and I mostly ended up going anywhere with them because they couldn’t get a baby sitter. My mom wasn’t home when I got home from school, so I did what I wanted. Yeah, that usually involved me going outside, but that may or may not have been a good thing. I was probably just going to hang out with some friends in town.

I think I would rather have my daughter here, where I know she is not getting into trouble, than the way it was with me. I’d like to try to begin doing more things together, or at the very least not let that fall any farther down the priority list. I have and show a great interest in my daughter’s art, so I ask her about it all the time.

I guess what I’m saying is that I am not so sure this ideal of coming together at the Y is achievable for most families. I think most families do the best they can in whatever circumstances they are in. There is an awful lot of pressure in the world today to be the “best family”. I’m not sure the family that comes together at the Y and then splits off in different directions is the picture of the best family. I think it’s an activity choice, and if the Y works for you, great. If it doesn’t, try something else. I think the point is to try to really “be” together at some point every day. To make sure your kid knows that they can talk to you. To be open and honest about things, even the not so pleasant things, and to express your love for each other in what ever way you can on a daily basis.

What do you think?

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